Tag Archives: compassion

Too Blind To See

Is Color Blind

There are
Of all colors
From all walks of life
From all faiths
From all backgrounds
From all corners
Of the world
Rich and poor







Is Color Blind

There are
Of all colors
From all walks of life
From all faiths
From all backgrounds
From all corners
Of the world
Rich and poor









Ain’t That A (Public) Shame

Ain’t that a shame
seeing it being
the hottest ticket in town
crowd after crowd
liking it, sharing it,
reveling in the name
of public shaming
because of course
they deserved it
and that somehow
it makes it all right
to make a permanent
mark digitally filed
for all the world to see
to like, to share, to
revel in the name
of public shaming
because of course
they deserved it
who cares if there
is mistaken identity
or even if they did
what they did
have we but forgotten
from kindergarten
all that was taught
play nice with others
if you don’t have
anything nice
to say….
is compassion
is kindness
a lost art
forgotten or
simply not practiced
with it being far
too much more fun
to bask in someone
else’s failures,mistakes
and or misfortunes
to like, to share, to
revel in the name
of public shaming
because of course
they deserved it
never mind that
no one is immune
to stupidity
whatever the age
and part of being
a teenager is
making mistakes
and hopefully
living to tell about it
has not everyone
done something
that was wrong
or wish it could be
taken back
but was never
caught on camera
for the entire world
to see
to like, to share, to
revel in the name
of public shaming
because of course
you deserved it
how quickly we forget
that we are all the same
separates us from
humanity, because
seeing people as people
to look them in the eye
to see them as
a son, a daughter
as a father or a mother
or even simply as a
human being
that is forgotten
because it is hard
to hear amidst
all of the screaming
name calling
of one another
as the cycle
perpetuating into
becoming the norm
to like, to share, to
revel in the name
of public shaming
because of course
they deserved it
but, then again
it’s all fun and games
until they
becomes you
and your name
is in the cross hairs
of the game
with everyone
lining up excited
to see the hottest
ticket in town
maybe then
it is no longer funny
no longer the same
but then again
lost is kindness
and compassion
until then and only then
is it found
once again


Have you ever seen those videos on Youtube where people perform unbelievable feats?   The beauty though is that there are amazing people every single day performing amazing feats of kindness that will never make it onto video.  There are amazing people showing compassion that will never make the headlines, but they are out there, every single day.

Yesterday, it dawned on me that I had not received the text notification that it was time for me to change out the air filter in my house’s A/C unit.  It is probably actually way overdue, so I went through the process of opening it and realized quickly it needed some tender loving care.   Then, went about the process of cleaning it, and spent several hours doing so.  What I neglected to do, in a rather elementary mistake, was to turn off the power and ended up shorting out the unit.

It is what it is.  I am not handy.  I have much to learn.

Most of life’s tasks are pretty simple, like cleaning the A/C unit, but I only know what I know.    Once something goes awry, then I’ve exceeded my limited knowledge.

What were my options? I could call someone for service, although that is not in the budget.  I could, and did, call my parents, which is my normal first line of defense and their advice was sound, but I felt it best to listen to my intuition.

Do nothing.

I left the house, went to see a friend and let it be.  It is what it is.

I like, like most of us, experience stress and anxiety.  Mine is centered around financial, which I would gather to guess, that is to some degree common with most of us.   The beauty of listening to my body is that it is telling. And, of late, my body has been screaming at me.

By letting go, and detaching from the situation I let myself become at peace with the situation.  The problem will be fixed when it does, not a second sooner or a second later.  That minute, hours, possibly days in between, that is where we tend to experience worry, which leads to anxiety.   So, my focus instead was being in the moment.

When I got home yesterday evening, there were many blessings to count.  It was overcast; it has even rained, so the house was not in direct sunlight all day.   I also don’t get overheated easily.  As a result, I was rather comfortable and slept soundly.

This morning, the garage door next door was open as I mowed my grass.  My neighbor is much the opposite of me. He is incredibly handy.  He makes amazing metallic art, is building his own furniture, and guess what?  His profession is A/C work.

I knew that he does and knew eventually he would be available to ask his advice, and furthermore, he too only knows what he knows.  Computers are not his forte, so I go over and help him when he has questions.   In return, he will give me pieces of his artwork, sometimes fish if he has it, which I love all of it.

I am not someone who is going to go over and knock on his door and say, “Hey, my A/C is out.”

I won’t.  When his garage door is down, he is with his family, and I am not going to interrupt that.   Mine can wait, and it did.

When I saw him in the garage working, I went over and told him my situation.  Easy fix, he told me.   All I did was blow my fuse inside the A/C unit.   He asked if I had a fuse (which, of course, I did not) so he gave me one and told me that it is easy to replace, but if I had any questions or needed further assistance, he would come over.

I opened up the panel to discover the fuse staring me in the face.   It was as plain as day, and it literally took me less than 5 minutes to complete the entire task.

Before I had left his garage after he gave me the fuse, I asked him if he needed any storage containers.  I had extra and offered to give him some.  He accepted, so when I went over to tell him thank you, I took them with me.  It gave me such great pleasure being able to feel like I was able to contribute.

In fact, it gave me more pleasure than it did getting my A/C fixed.   And, what truly was amazing about my neighbor is something I call “the thought before the thought.”   When I told him my situation, he knew it was a problem with the fuse.  He immediately, even before I answered if I had one, was looking for one to give to me.  He was happy to help me, just as I was happy to help him.

While there, he asked me about our new neighbors.  I am the one everybody asks, because I am the first to go over and introduce myself.   When I moved into the neighborhood, I put a hand written note in everyone’s mailbox and invited them to my house that upcoming weekend for some lasagna and an opportunity for them to meet me, and vice versa.

When we meet someone, it is an opportunity to set boundaries as well as expectations.    Beyond that, for most people, first impressions mean a lot, and in some cases what is remembered most.

What do I think about our new neighbors?  “They are awesome!!!”

Granted, whenever someone asks about any of my neighbors I say the same, but it is true.  As long as someone is kind to me, that is all that matters. Even if they are not, I am not going to express that to someone else, because it is my experience.  It does not mean they will have a different experience.   I wouldn’t want to taint someone’s perceptions based upon something negative that I had to say. Plus, I like to treat people like I like to be treated.

It matters not what their interests are, what they believe, or if we have any common interests. I am not dating them.  They are someone who lives next to me, and that means if I see them outside, I will smile.  I will waive.

After getting my AC operational, I went back to mowing. I have a large corner lot with a sizeable amount of grass that I mow myself.   Most of those living around me ask why I also mow the commons area behind my house.   “You don’t have to you, you know.”

That is true. There is a lot in this world that I don’t have to do.  I don’t have to, but I do choose to do so.

“Why?”   (The question that starts at 2, but seemingly never ends).

“Does it look better when you walk by?”   I ask.   “Do you like the way it looks?”

Yes, of course, they do.   What they do not see is the line drawn from my property to the common’s area.   Furthermore, if it beautifies my entire property, making it a more pleasurable sight not only for myself but for others, then the question I would ask would be, why wouldn’t I mow it?

Speaking of the way it looks, I have come to a place where if I like something, I make it a practice to tell someone.   Yesterday, while in Ft. Lauderdale, I was walking back to my car and a woman was looking at herself in the mirror of her makeup thing (I’m sure that’s the technical term).  The thought before the thought in my head was, “You are enough.”  So, I said aloud, “You look amazing” and kept walking.

Everyone has something amazing about them – that special nuance that makes them unique and special.

And, while kindness does not make headlines, and compassion is not something that draws an audience, it is amazing to find those amazing people who practice both.   Today, for me, it was my neighbor.   Tomorrow, it may be someone else I know, or it could be a total stranger.


People are Amazing!

The Thought Before The Thought

When you wake up in the morning
what is that voice inside your head say?
Before you consciously start to think.

Is it?

Let’s Go!

Or is it?

Oh No!!!  

Not Again!?!?

Be kind to that thought before the thought.

Be aware that is the thinking, and be kind.
Rewind and say, it’s going to be ok.
I am strong, and I am brave.
I am now, and I am ready
to go.

When you look in the mirror at night

what is that voice inside your head say?

Before you consciously start to think.

Is it?


look at me! 
I am so amazing!

Or, is it?


can someone look at me??? 
I am nothing.

Be loving to that thought before the thought.

Be aware that is the thinking, and be loving.
Rewind and say, it’s going to be ok.
I am strong, and I am brave.
I am now, and I am

When you look in the during the day

what is that voice inside your head saying?

Before you consciously start to think.

Is it?

Why me?  

What did I ever do to deserve this 
god awful day, and life?

Or, is it?

Why not me?  

Thank you god 
for this most wonderful day,
and amazing life.

Be compassionate to that thought before the thought.

Be aware that is the thinking, and be compassionate.
Rewind and say, it’s going to be ok.
I am strong, and I am brave.
I am now, and I am responsible
for me.


What is your naked truth?

At what point does panic strike you?  Not set in, but hits you in the face with a sledge hammer?   When do you sincerely feel the pain, and when does that pain become too much to bear?

Have you ever been in an enclosed room with a low ceiling and the water rising?   When the water begins seeping through the walls did that get your heart racing?   How about when it was at your knees?  When up to your neck with your body submerged did you feel you were still in control?  How about when it rose above your lips, your eyes, until your whole head was under water?  Were you able to stay calm throughout?  Did you forget about all your worldly problems?   Was life instantly put into perspective?  And, most importantly, were you able to hold your breath long enough?

It may not have been rising water that pushed your panic button. It may have been a health, financial, spiritual, emotional, or other issue that did it for you.  I know at least 7 people that I have met personally who have been brought back to live after having breathed their last breath.  One was a gentleman who was pronounced DOA , but the irony is that this was not his worst day.  He instead proclaimed proudly, “it was the best day of my life.”
Recently, the water has been up to my proverbial eyeballs, and I kept feeling the water rising.   Did I panic? Yes, on multiple occasions.   My feelings were of being completely alone, isolated, frustrated, and lost in terms of how I was going to get myself out of the situation.
It is the not the first time I have been in a panic, and for the very similar reasons.   From this experience I have learned the following and more:

  • Empathy and Compassion
    • My empathy is such that I understand that everyone goes through pain, and we all handle that pain (and panic) differently.  I go inwards, others the opposite.   We all find our our way.
  • Forgiveness
    • My forgiveness really was about forgiving myself for being in this situation, and for having it happens more than once.   Through this process, it has helped me to learn:
  • Unconditional Love
    • My unconditional love can be summed up with my now adult children. Whenever I have communication with them I tell them “I love you, and I am proud of you”.
  • Peace, Happiness and Joy
    • My natural state is being happy, and being nice, to myself and others.  While walking this morning, I waved and said “Hello”  to every person I met and saw on the street.  In my authentic state, I don’t wait for someone else’s greeting.  I don’t wait for someone else to be nice to me.  And, I certainly don’t find my peace happiness and joy in anything externally, I go within.   
From my most recent panic situation, I realize the importance of focusing not on what I don’t want but rather focus on what I do want.   Pretty easy, right?
How often do you focus on what you don’t want?  Whether it be personally yourself? Or, with others in your life?  And, on a more global scale as well? 
Have you defined what you want?  Really?   Have you?   Personally, and professionally?  
For myself, I thought I wanted money in the form of being independently wealthy; healthy, in the form of being in the best shape of my life;  happy, in the form of  enjoying every minute of life.
And, while I do, those things are not really what I want.  I want my life to be a love affair (with myself and others). 
When I’m in love with life, I want to share that. I love making others feel better about themselves after they have been in my company than before.  I love inspiring others, I love thinking and believing in ways that is sometimes in contradiction to everyone I know;  I love finding my way, and it may not but your way (in fact it won’t be, and that is what makes life amazingly awesome); I love my house as much as I love any person; I love my dog, as I love any human; I love being with that special someone who is my champion in every sense of the world, and I theirs; I love the ground I walk on as much as the sky above; and, I love being me.  
I have many quotes I have written and one is, “every day is a good day. It’s only the moments within each day that differs.”   The moments they may be exuberant; they may be exciting; or, they may be despondent; and, they may even be horrific.   
When life is put into perspective, it is a miracle to be alive.  We may have almost drowned, but we have come out alive.  We have an opportunity, if not to do the impossible, to at least find the the naked truth that rests inside each of us.