What do you do?

It just occurred to me. Just now.

Ever hear this question, “What do you do?”

All the time, right?   For me the biggest question is simply how to answer it appropriately dependent on the situation, because for me, it can be answered in a myriad of different ways.

So what is this moment of inspiration? I’ve come to realize that I am an artist.   My medium?   Life.

By life being my canvas, it is my intention to fill this medium if you will with as much variety of vibrant and stimulating colors that are humanly possible every single day.  And by this being my artwork, when I die people are going to ask not “What did he do” but rather “what didn’t he do”.

Looking back over the course of my history, if you will, I have done so many different things vocationally and will continue to so.   I absolutely love life. I see so many opportunities and feel this is the most spectacular time to be alive?  Why?  Because of the availability to try new things is virtually limitless, and why not try all of them that we find intriguing?

I have so many passions that the question becomes what don’t I want to do?   One of those would be sleep as there is too much life to be lived to be sleeping.  It used to be not that long ago where I needed to sleep at least 8 to 10 hours a night.  I needed to go to bed at a certain time. I needed to eat at certain times, and if I didn’t follow this very rigid regiment I would get sick often with flu like symptoms.

That has all changed, though.   In fact, I remember the exact night when it happened.  I had just been hired on a new job for an international company.  My responsibilities included both here domestically as well as internationally especially concerning the communication piece.    With a 12-13 hour time difference, it comes with the job.

It was late, and I was getting ready for bed.   I made the conscious effort to tell myself that I was going to do whatever it takes to do this job.   I knew the commitment I was making.  I was all in with the intention of doing all that was asked and more.

As the night turned to day and the job kicked into full swing I went from going to bed early every night to having my sleep schedule cut in half.  My sleep patterns immediately were askew, and yet from that day until now I have really not been sick at all.  That is going on three years now.  Along with that, I feel that I am more productive as well as my energy level has increased. Now mind you I am a huge advocate of naps, and it’s really simple with me.  When I’m tired I lie down and take a nap. I do not go by a set time of the day but simply listen to my body.  The same is with eating. When I am hungry I eat.   When I am not hungry I don’t.

As a student of hypnosis, I would say that I hypnotized myself.   Furthermore, I also realized other things as well.  What are some of them?

  • Our thoughts create reality. What we think becomes who we are, and how we see the world.
  • Everybody is different.  That is one word and two (every body).  By listening to our own body it reveals to us what it needs, if we merely listen.
  • Fear is the opposite of love.  By not living in fear we are therefore living in love.

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…..Won The Lottery!

I feel like I’ve….won the lottery!

That was my feeling this afternoon and for the most mundane of reasons actually.  It was getting late but I needed to return the modem back to my internet service provider or more accurately the service provider I thought I was going to have until I realized there was a cancellation fee to terminate my service with my current provider.  From the number of cars in the parking lot, and the two people standingoutside smoking cigarettes, I was pretty certain of what it was going to look like inside.

As I was getting out of the car, there was a woman to the left of me who was doing the same. She also had equipment in her hand as she glanced over at me.  I could see her pace quicken with the hastiness and sense that she was going to race me to the door in order to get her name entered into the computer before I would thus being called ahead of me.  Anticipating this I quickened up my pace, and since she was older she was no match as I jumped up to the top of the steps as she gingerly took one step at at time looking down to ensure she did not miss one and end up falling to the ground hurting herself.  She did, I’m sure, hear me open the door as reached the top of the stairs.

To her surprise the door was still open as she looked up and saw me standing there holding the door open for her.  She nodded without saying a word and entered into the abyss as I followed behind.

Once inside there were a massive amount of butts in chairs scattered in three rows with a small row of chairs to the side with several weary eyed onlookers standing in the back at us two poor souls walking into purgatory.   The t-shirted man spilling over the sides of his seat sitting closest to the exit had a book in hand, glasses drooped down the end of his nose.  I noticed  he was near the end of the novel.  Wonder if he started when he got there?

“How long have you been here?” The frail woman who walked in front of me asked another younger woman who was sitting in a chair dislodged from the rest of the conformity of orderly aligned chairs.

The younger woman looked up pushing her glasses up on her face and looked at the clock shaking her head before before speaking.  Finally, she said with a sigh, “I don’t know maybe an hour. I lost track.”

With a sigh of her own, she strode up to the computer and began to enter the required information including her name and the reason for her visit.   Her typing skills matched her walking ability as I finished much quicker than she and found an empty seat in the front row facing the employees.

No familiar faces from the last time I was here, I thought.  Looking upwards I saw the screen, which reminded me of being in the airport terminal searching for the right before I missed my flight.  It flashed, I saw my name.  At the bottom.

There were six employees working, each behind a computer screen.  All but one were engaged in dialogue including the employee directly in front of me.  Her customer finished her business and walked to the exit leaving the employee tapping her fingers on her keyboard before looking out into the crowd.

“Who is returning equipment, and who is next?”  She yelled across the room.

No one appeared to move.  Odd.  Usually it is a mad dash to get their first and yet it was like everyone had been there so long they were all glued to their chairs.  Maybe they were.

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders as glanced from side to side saying, “I have equipment to return, but I’m definitely not next.”

“Well, no one is stepping up so…”  She said, but before she could finish I was at her counter.

I had stepped up!

It did not take her but a moment to pull up my information, ask me the security questions, have me sign my signature, and wished me a great day.  That was it.

Almost as quickly as I had entered, I was exiting but not before I surveyed the damage I left behind.   I could just feel the eyes peering into my back. The dirty looks were being thrown like daggers across the room.  I just smiled and walked out the door and into the light feeling as if I had just won the lottery.

After leaving there, I had several errands to run including getting groceries.  For me, that is needing of winning the lottery.  How is that food costs so much?  Do I really need to eat?  I’m starting to wonder.

Going back home, I was happy with my winnings. Time is precious, and I was going to get home early so was really excited about the turn of events.  Then, I got onto the interstate.  Not a parking lot, but I could have got out of my car and ran faster than I was traveling. To make matters worse when I got off atmy exit, the left turn lane was blocked so I had no way of going in the direction I was headed.  Instead, I took a side road. Not exactly ingenious since everyone else seemed to be thinking the same thing, and must have been hurrying too because there was another accident on the side road.  Finally got to the next major through street and headed west to my final destination.  Everyone was going in the same direction but no one was going anywhere fast.  Of course, there were the sounds of periodic honking from those hoping the miraculous sound would somehow part the sea of cars allowing them to glide through like Moses.

Took me an hour to get home when it normally takes around 20 minutes, but where was my focus going to be?   I had a choice.  I could either focus my attention on the feeling of winning the lottery or I could focus my intention on the slow long road home.

Every day is broken down into slices of moments and within each of these moments we have choices.  They may be literal choices of whether we are to go left or right or they be less concrete like the choice of where we focus our attention.

30 – 30

Just finished feeling the warm breeze whisk by as I started the day with a bike ride around the neighborhood.  It seems, especially lately, that whenever I walk out the door I see something new.  Today was no different although that was partly because I took a virgin route going down a new set of roads.  Passing by house after house some would say they all look the same, but I see them as unique characters each with their own personalities.    There are those that appear almost happy while others sad with paint peeling and a months old flyer hanging on the door knob on one in particular.

Then as I parked my bike in my own house after the ride, I was just sitting down to turn on the computer when I received a text.  It was a direct twitter message saying if I wanted to wake up inspired then subscribe to their email distribution.  Intriguing was my thought.   What if I already woke up inspired?

I am going to subscribe, by the way, because I feel that there can never be enough inspiration in my life.  And, inspiration is such a beautiful word to me.  To be inspired is something to inspire to although how many of the billions of people on the planet not only don’t feel inspired but are feeling right now exactly the opposite?

So what inspires you?  And, what gets you up in the morning feeling alive?  Is it someone else?  That dearly beloved?  Or, does it take that kick start of a fresh cup of coffee to get your engines running?

Whatever it is, we are here now alive for yet another day.  For me, every day is an opportunity.  There are always lessons to be learned and new paths to be discovered. And, what I discovered most recently is that by simply following my own instincts and listening to my intuition I find my way.  Such was the case two days ago when an idea came to me as simply a whisper of inspiration if you will.    My intention is to offer my services to 30 people in 30 days.

So there you have it.  That was my idea, and while we all have ideas the question becomes how many of us act on and follow through with our ideas?   How many amazing ideas are out there right now laying dormant inside someone’s head?

I decided to act.  My implementation phase consisted of posting on facebook my intention.  Almost immediately I began getting email responses.  That was exciting and within the first 24 hours I received my first seven responses.  What surprised me the most was a very unexpected shift.

Simply by putting it out there that I am offering my services to 30 people in 30 days, I began to receive phone calls from people wanting to take me up on my offer.  The only catch is that they never saw the posting.  They were calling for the same thing that I was offering although doing it all on their own volition. I even mentioned in my post that writing is one of my services that I provide, and the next day someone I have not spoke to in probably half a year called asking if I could write her bio for her.

Absolutely.   I was happy to do so.  And, I did write it for her.   Then after I completed the writing I began to think about the reasoning of why this particular idea came into my head in the first place.

One of my most trusted advisors is my coach of some 10+ years.   Some would say she is a life, or business coach, but I simply call her my beloved coach.  Many ask me, “Why do you have (or need) a coach?”

“Why wouldn’t I have a coach” is typically my response.   I equate to having a coach to the same as an athlete who has a coach.   The athlete may be a great individual basketball player, for example, but it takes a coach to help develop and hone those skills while also developing the player into the frameworks of the team.   Great players do not always make great teammates, and likewise, great players do not always make great teams.

My beloved coach does the same with me.  She brings out the greatness in me, and how I can best integrate within the world that which works best for me.   So what did she say when I told her about my 30-30 idea?

She would have liked if I would have added an additional 30, and it would look something like this:  30-30-30.  The idea would then be to offer my services to 30 people in 30 days for 30 dollars.  I love it!!  And, her.

I also went with my intuition.  By not adding a dollar value to it, I feel that I am truly being altruistic.  That does not mean that I believe in the ideology that money is the root of all evil, as some suggest.  On the contrary, it is my philosophy that the more resources I have available at my disposal the more I can do to make the world a better place.  .

Another aspect that I want to mention is that I am completely focused on being grateful for all that I have instead of allowing my thoughts to become obsessed with a perceived lack.  That coupled with practicing living void of fear and instead acting in a love based mode, by being of service to others, it is a means of achieving my goals through focusing on my thought patterns.  

Have you heard someone ask you what you would do if you had no fear and the time and possibility to do anything you wanted to do?  Well, that is exactly what I am doing.   I may not be traveling the world, yet, or the myriad of other long-term goals that I have but what I am doing is living each and every day in intention.

Now that I have shared my intention for the next 30 days,  I can tell you that my past 30 days have been spent practicing extreme self care.   What is extreme self care?  It is taking care of myself, first and foremost body mind and soul.

So I bought myself a bicycle and started riding.  I went to my acupuncturist and received tuning fork vibration therapy.  I picked up a new book that I am in the middle of reading.   Found a few new favorite restaurants.   I researched taking some college courses, among other things.

In the process I have gained new insight and understanding.  Not with the world or anything external but merely new insight into myself and what I want to do to make the most of each and every moment.  What I have learned the most lately?

  • Fear is an aberration.  Truth is love.
  • Turn off Turn Down or Tune out the disconnect, and by disconnect I mean anything or anyone that does not resonate right here right now.    (I love the saying that people will either add to and multiply your life or they will  subtract and divide)
  • Listen more talk less.  Furthermore, the more I meditate the less I need people and/or things.   That does not necessarily mean that I do not want people and/or things but need and want are two totally separate distinctions.

“There’s no greater purpose than service to others.”  – Socrates (from Peaceful Warrior)

What I’ve Learned……

The Taoists believe that the wisest are those that are the youngest and those that are the oldest.

Not in our society although through various activities such as volunteering for hospice on one end and having children on the other, I often learn the most from the ones most would least expect.

Some of what I have learned lately….

Listen More, Speak Less

  • Listening without feeling the need to respond is such a skill set.  Feeling secure in the silence  without needing to add to, respond to, or question such is rather difficult and why there is such a calling for psychologists coaches and the like whose job is in essence to listen without judgment.  
  • Starting at a very young age if someone is not allowed to have a voice, to be heard and to feel that they are being heard that person will develop certain defense mechanisms that can and often do manifest as issues later.
  • Even those that are at the eldest of ages still feel that they have spent a lifetime of not being heard, while others have never really listened and some will never have their story told.
Justice Sounds A Lot Like Revenge
  • What does justice look like, and what is the purpose, or more importantly, what is the higher purpose of each individual and all of society because if our purpose is to be happy, to find peace, and to be loved then so often justice is not served but rather it is revenge.  
  • Forgiveness is often equated as a weakness but takes one of the strongest wills of all.
  • True story – a woman’s husband was brutally murdered right beside her.  The man was later easily sought, found, convicted, and was awaiting the death penalty.  The woman  who had a terrible time with nightmares and such that is often the case with these events woke up in the middle of one night to the sound of the word “forgive” ringing in her ear.  The next morning she drove to the jail to meet face to face the man who brutally killed her husband.   He cussed her out, and told her never to come back. She did. And, he did the same.  That continued until one day he broke down and asked why she continued to come back.  Forgiveness.  Once he broke down, he told her about how he was always told he was nothing was worthless and so he became what everyone thought he would be.  From that day forward they became friends.  She asked the court to change their ruling. They voted to continue as scheduled. Just would be served.  She was there at his last day on Earth. 
  • The story is true, although my recounts of such is how I remember them so may not be entirely as it happened.
Silence equals Growth
 
  • Which way to turn may not be as simple as taking this left, or this right, as life is more like a labyrinth that we are supposed to navigate on a daily and minute to minute basis.  Sometimes, it can seem like we’re rats in a cage going around and around on a wheel but getting nowhere. Other times it seems so difficult trying to figure out what to do that we suffer analysis paralysis and end up doing nothing.  
  • The answers are a plenty.  Getting to the final destination is not the ultimate quest but rather to simply enjoy the journey.  
  • To feel completely scattered is natural and normal, from time to time, and whenever out of balance there are many means to regaining ones balance.  There are religious philosophies, spiritual paths, and friendly voices of friends and family.  There is also that quiet place in our mind’s eye that by simply stopping, staying silent and quieting the mind we can find quite miraculously things there that we never thought we could find.  
  • Sometimes the answer, other times the way. Sometimes they are both the same. 
 

Have a great day!!

 
Bryan Hayes
 Personal Philosophy: 

 Destiny:  To help create a more loving, hopeful and connected planet. 

Cause:    To have an authentic provocative global impact on the planet. 

Calling:  To speak from the heart; write from the soul; and to lead by inspiring myself, and others, to greatness.

Peace

I will share something that came to me last night – and I couldn’t sleep afterwards. But, I had this thought, feeling, revelation – whatever it may be, but the idea that came to me is that we should pray for peace at 9:11 tonight.

By peace it doesn’t mean peace for for our country, peace from wars, or peace on our planet. Rather, it is peace within.

It is my own ideology that nirvana, heaven, bliss or whatever that may look for someone can be summed up in one word “Peace“.

I believe that for everyone I know I don’t pray that they will get better, that their circumstances will improve or such but rather if they, and everyone around them can find peace, then everything else works out naturally.

If someone in our lives is suffering, we want so badly for them to feel better and to improve. That is natural, and in some ways selfish on our part, but I think though that if we simply ask for peace that is in of itself enough.

When speaking to people who know someone who is close to death, they often times become really peaceful beforehand. There was a woman I met in the keys who had a son who had died in a freak accident (lightning strike), and a husband who died a year later. She told me that with her son he was very much at peace right before the accident. Afterwards, they found a note from him that said in part that they needn’t worry he was in a better place and he had found peace. Now granted, I’ll repeat by saying that he died in a freak accident. There was no warning or anything, which makes the letter from him that much more freaky if you will.

The point of the story is basically that it matters not as much what one believes, or how they perceive the world to be but rather it is universal that everyone is trying to find one thing among many things, peace within.

It doesn’t really matter if it’s 9:11 as time is what it is. What the idea is though is a time, if you will, to focus on a greater sense of peace for ourselves and for others.

And, with that I will leave you with a mantra shared to me most recently that is Hawaiian in origin and goes along very well with this I think:

I love you; I am sorry; Please forgive me; Thank you.

I simply add one word to it after:

Peace.

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Thank You….

Fortunate am I for a myriad of opportunities, of places here and there, and of such amazing people whether they be simply walking by and saying hi or for being around for a season or more.  Whatever that has passed my way, I have learned from and am still learning. I realize that the more I think I know, really the more I really have no idea, as I have only begun.  What I have come to the conclusion of though is that whoever it may be, gracious I should be.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. 
It turns what we have into enough,
and more. 
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity. 
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend. 
 ~ Melody Beattie

Whether it’s some rather large need, or something rather minute in scale never do we really know if someone is need – of something.  Maybe it is simply an acknowledgement of their being, of having someone out there letting them know that they are concerned.  Whatever that may be, we all have those moments.

 There was a woman some time ago that when asked what she was grateful for, she replied rather truthfully, “Nothing”.   In her mind, there was nothing to be grateful for, that she had nothing.  I asked her if she was in front of a computer, because there is a lot of people in this world without a computer.  She said, she was.   I inquired about her living arrangements and if she was fortunate enough to be living in a house or apartment rather than being on the streets as is the case for so many.  She said, she was.  I wondered if she had a job, since so many are without one.  She said, she had one.  I continued by asking if she was able to pay her bills this month and if there was any money left over in her account since a plethora of those out there wish they could say the same.  She said, she did and there is.  I queried her about her health and asked if she was sick even terminally so as so many suffer daily from health related issues that cause constant pain or are terminally ill and know they don’t have much further to go.   She said, she was fine.
Her honesty continued by her saying that she had never thought that way. It was a new line of thinking.  She never even thought about those things.  She never thought about those things, and it never even occurred to her be grateful as they went unnoticed.
Instead, she focused on lack and on when she did not have.  She spent her entire living feeling that she had nothing, when in fact, she was quite rich.  She was poor in her own mind though in many a myriad of ways.
What this particular person needed was someone to shed a little light on her darkness and her help her to become aware of the things that she for so long had overlooked. In fact, her entire life was that way and because of that she never really experienced any type of satisfaction.  Hers was rather unfulfilled so she asked my advice.   It was elementary.   Simply start by giving thanks.
“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” 
~ The Hausa of Nigeria
Utilizing that same principle, my intention is quite a simple one and that is to say:  Thank you.
I appreciate all that you have done for me so is there anything I can do for you?
I find it quite interesting when every now and then I’ll simply throw it there and say – how can I help you?
Never know how someone may respond.  Typically not at all, and that most certainly is perfect.
And, whatever the new day and week brings to you I hope yours is a great one and it brings you all that you need, want and desire.
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“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh Beautiful Freedom

Waking up feeling like it’s Monday morning dragging my weary head

away from the pillow prying one eyeball open to the sting of the light

peeling the sheet off my sweaty crawling skin the hangover not from alcohol

but from the intoxication of yet another overwhelming day

spanked by Karma once again burning from the sting of being bitten

by the sickness and now restrained from being able to get up

and start the day not realizing that today may just be sweeter

than honey dripping from the nectar of opportunities

because the voices of can’t and won’t still are ringing

virtually defeated submitting to his mind control telling

me that he’s right and its sheer pain to think otherwise

for he’s pounded it so often into me that there seems but no

hope for anything more anything better anything true

because they are all the same everyone

so lay here wallowing in my own guilt as the rain pours

outside my window pane whenever will the sun again

rise for me to provide me warmth comfort and shelter

from it all as its too much for one person

the only one here desperate and uncontrollably afraid

to open myself up to even try and make it out

of this hallow cave where no one can ever see me

nor do I want to be seen or heard or touched or felt

no this time it’s over and there is no going back

Yesterday she is but a whore who took everything

and did it with a smile for she knew exactly what to do

to break me in two and watch me fold whimper and beg

for more like a torrid hunger for the thirst of suffering

begging me for more you and her and all the lies you told

all the while knowing I will come don’t you I am but a pet

salivating at the thought of  his unmistakable scent

as the more I try to free myself from these ties

the more they dig into my wrists burying themselves further

into my soft silken skin that was once was so sensitive

before it was made raw from the tension and the grip

strong is the hand that binds both mind body and soul

letting go is not for anyone else’s will but that of my own

and like a whisper in the wind I see you standing at the door

like a brilliant light I feel the surge of electricity shooting

through my veins just seeing what true strength looks like

and for the first time in a lifetime I forget who I was and knew

I have to have you here and now before the sun even rises

right here in the rain we shall dance and while I won’t be taken

you are mine come here and let me whisper it in your ear

“You are mine Today. You are here, and yes Today, you will be mine.”

there is no more Yesterday as she is but a past memory

that is but faded into the distance and now as the candles

flicker like your tongue against my want for more

I will make the most of Today not take you for granted

or wait for another day in desperate hope for something greater

something more to come before me and save me

because you see Today no one can save me

as I am no longer a victim of this cruel charade

I know what I want and it’s you Today and you do not

have to fret my dear either as Tomorrow no matter how good

he may look is no threat as I am here right now and finally living

in the moment seeing and knowing for the first time as truth

that you are not all the same you are different than Yesterday

and we shall crash into each other again and again

because Today you came to my room lifting me from my demise

so now I know the taste of freedom and am ready to let go

no longer afraid of Yesterday as I now am finally ready to meet you

Today

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