My philosophy is that we can only focus one thing at one time, and as such, we can either focus our energy on what we want (which is what is most common) or what we have. I have chosen to focus on the latter by practicing unconditional gratitude for everything and everyone. In doing so, the more I am thankful for what I have, the more I feel deep satisfaction with life in the moment. Coupled with that, what I want will manifest itself organically if I only allow it to be through my thought and action.
It was only a couple of years ago when I taught vision board classes, and up until last year, I have had multiple vision boards up in my office. When I became really honest with myself what I put on those boards were not really what I wanted, but rather, what I thought I wanted. Those are two very different things.
Through my research, I would ask those I worked with the question not only what do you want, but “What do you really want?” The reason? Because, while a relationship, for example, was often an answer was it really what they wanted?
Being in a relationship does not necessarily equate to instant happiness. In fact, many relationships are toxic, abusive even. Worse, a lot of them were miserable being themselves and their thinking was that by being in a relationship it would save them from their own demise. Some it did, but most of the time, whatever they felt prior to the relationship was what caught up with them while in the relationship.
Through this, and other personal revelations, I became increasingly more focused on the daily practice of being grateful for what I have and where I am right now. If I am single, I am making the very best of being single and enjoying it to the hilt. If I am in a relationship, I am doing the same. And, this is my practice across all aspects of my life.
This also is not something that is part of a new year tradition. In fact, as much as I honor and love to celebrate, I am partaking less and less in conventional norms like making resolutions for the new year. That is, in part, due to time becoming more and more of an illusion.
I saw no difference between my day on Monday (the 31st) and Tuesday (the 1st). The calendar may have changed, but that was about it. Instead of focusing on time in a more traditional linear line, my only reality is now.
All I can control is right now. Everything else I cannot. I can plan for tomorrow. I can hope that tomorrow will be better than today, and I know it will be, but my energy is staying present and enjoying whatever I am doing right now.
No matter the day, the year, I may not know exactly what I want, but I can always be grateful for what I have. It does not mean I do not have goals, dreams, ambitions, but those I put out into the universe and detach from the outcome.
I write letters to myself, and write stories about how it feels to have received whatever it is I want or to have something I desire accomplished. I see it as already being done, but again, I give that attachment away.
The common question is, “What do you want?” or “what are you doing?” (meaning what are you doing to get closer to what you want) but quite unique is the question, “What are you grateful for?”