BeautiFull, The philosophy of

Have you ever really noticed beauty?  Not the meaning but rather the word itself.   What does it mean? And what does it mean to you?

Whatever your idea of beauty that says more about yourself than it does anything else.  The perception of beauty is a societal one, although the reflection of beauty a personal one.  So again, what is beauty and what does it mean to you?

There on the inside beauty lies in wait to reveal itself.   Dormant is the love awaiting to come alive.   Not dead but rather muted.   That is pain so many feel, because they have yet to realize that they too have something of a prize.

ImageWhen I was 15 years old, it was sports that kept me into and out of things.  It was my comfort zone of sorts as I did not really relate to the teenage mentality.   Drinking never seemed cool.   It was something I never felt as a need or even a want and really it was for no apparent reason.

There was a lot that I didn’t get into, and that was the making of me as a real person.   The reality is that by living, some will agree and some will disagree.   Not everyone is going to see us as we see ourselves.  Not everyone is going to like us.   As a teenager, being liked is a means to an end.  That posturing for popularity compels people to work so hard to be in a position to be noticed.

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What people remember me for is either my post-high school days or that from my senior year.   That was when I was recognized, positively sometimes, and negatively in others.    It was not until I was substitute teaching in the same high school that I attended that a student shared with me that I was the town drug dealer.  Ironic, the one who never even drank was not merely taking drugs but was distributing them.

That is the beauty of life.  People perceive it through their periscope, which is rather narrow in scope through which we too often make assumptions.  That is an easy pit to fall into if not careful.   So too is listening to others perception of beauty (or lack thereof) and making it our own.   Their voice can silence our own.

When we have lost our voice, we have lost our way.   We are not whole.   Not full.  And, most of us have been there at one time or another.

Very few young adults (and even adults) recognize that they are full, and by full I mean complete. There is a difference between being at peace and being full of yourself.   Being complete, is in essence, being beautiful.

It is never too late to find that beauty is inside you.  No matter how old you are.   No matter your situation.

There was a woman I knew who at around 350 pounds had more love her body than probably 90% of the models that I have worked with over the years. She cared less that she was obese.  Furthermore, she never listened to what anyone else thought about her because she truly inside and out liked herself.

Because she was full, her beauty is what people saw.  She was radiant, because she did not hide behind who she was or really who she was not.  It was that inner strength that she recognized knowing that her gifts are far reaching and she need not be model thin to be happy.

Happiness is something that I have been accused of being too often as one of my main affliction.   That and being overly positive were too of my afflictions.   Even in my most timid and shy times, my mainstay was that I was usually smiling.   Going deeper, it was not until I fell that I was able to get up and see myself for the first time.  It was not until I lost myself that I was able to find who I really was.

Smiling may have offered a sense of well being; my happiness may have masked an underlying void that kept me enjoying life to the fullest.   Today, I have but only a handful of pictures as a teenager and the same can be said for my college years.

The opposite of beauty is ugly, and if that is what we see, then that becomes our reality.   I saw it too as a result of not feeling comfortable in my own skin.   It mattered not if someone complimented or insulted me, I had my own reality and it was not working for me.

One of the most gorgeous women I had ever met was equally one of the loneliest spending most every weekend alone by herself.  Men were too intimidated and women she felt were jealous of her because of her looks.   Truth be told, she was recognized only for her looks.   She thought never thought she was good enough.  She compared herself to perfection, whatever that means even when others saw her as perfect.  Her perception meant her reflection, and as a result, her reality.

With age, she lost what were her most recognizable features and the more she sunk into anonymity the more comfortable about herself she became.  She never completely realized that all along she was full, because peace was ever elusive.   When kept chasing something that she could never have, because it was an illusion.

I am fortunate in that I found myself in time to appreciate what I have and not be concerned with anything or anyone that I am not.   Did she?  Maybe we will never really know.   How about you?  Are you complete?  Full?  Can you see yourself as truly beautiful?

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The better question is how do you find that beauty, and in my opinion, it is a matter of first finding peace, happiness and contentment with just being you.   You are a gift.   Your gift to the world is in part who you are.  If you are not living your gift, there is no better time than right now.

I wanted to embrace myself in what others feel like chained by that misery, of not liking themselves, of seeing themselves as being ugly, as not good enough as I am writing this.  In the process, my keys became stuck on the keyboard. I took that as an opportunity.

Unhooking the keyboard from the computer, I examined it before taking it into the kitchen where I set out to symbolically feel what it is like making that transformation to finally being free by literally smashing the keyboard against the counter.   My vision was that it would break cleanly in half from the force, but instead, the keys went flying across the room so I hit it again.   More keys flying.  So, I did it again then took it across my knee and now in multiple pieces I saw it once again.

Before it was full, complete, if you will.   Now lying there in pieces with keys scattered throughout the kitchen floor I could see how the black of the keys melted nicely with the red in the floor.  I saw not the keyboard as being in pieces, missing keys but rather the potential for being a work of art.

Beautiful, it is.

And, we are.

Finding your beauty may be something that is still a work in progress for you.  Life is a canvas, your walking through it a brush, and how you live it is the portrait that you are painting.

It is not without pain, struggle and perseverance to move Out of the Haze, but I now believe that I have found a place where I myself feel like I love life more than any person on the planet. I relish the world I live in, including the body that has been afforded me.

It was when I opened my eyes that I then realized life is BeaUtiFull.

There are times when aspects of our lives (whether it be personal, professional, financial, spiritual, physical, emotional, or whatever it may be) we deem as being more ugly than beautiful.    If you would like to ask how I have found the brush that works for me living in a world I find as beautiful, feel free to send me a message.  As a coach, I love helping others find their beauty.  As a photographer, I love capturing all that is beautiful.   It is especially exciting to work with someone who does not deem themselves as possessing beauty be transformed if you will into something beautiful.

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BEUtiFULL  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Ok. Ok.  So, I’m a little late? Or maybe a little early?

Both are correct, and it probably is neither the first nor the last time that it will be the case.  This particular oversight is due to a lack of connectivity or more directly being able to connect to the internet.   Over the past week and a half my travels have taken me to a rather rural area where being able to easily access the internet was easier said than done.

As such, I missed my Valentine’s Day post that I had planned on writing but that needn’t mean there are not opportunities. For me, the opportunities while away included the catching up on reading, personal reflection and strategizing for the future.  Now that I once again have internet access I am back and wanted first of all say, “Happy Valentine’s Day” to you and yours.

Valentine’s Day is that special day for that special person in your life.  It is a day of love, and showing love towards that person.  Am I getting it right?

It is almost daily that I hear someone say something to the like of, “If only I had a husband (or wife) my life would be complete.”    The ironic thing for me is when I conducted a rather informal unscientific survey, I can say that probably half the people I know who are in a relationship want out (to some degree).  Those I know who are not in a relationship want in (to some degree).

While Valentine’s may be a day to celebrate love, and the love of another, every day is an opportunity to rejoice in the fact that there is one person who will always be with you no matter what. Through thick and thin without fail there is but one who will surely be there at the beginning and at the end. That one person is YOU.

If we are not true to ourselves, how can we be true to another?  If we do not honor ourselves, how do we expect to honor someone else and they in return?   If we do not love ourselves, is there someone else who can fill that void?

That empty space where loneliness creeps in where it seems that the rest of the world is so distant, there in the shadows may be a friend in wait.   So often so many never truly get to know the person they really are.  They may constantly have a mask or veil covering up their true feelings, aspirations and convictions for the sake of another.

Truth be told, I have to say I am rather biased in this arena because I truly am not only comfortable but truly enjoy my alone time.   Being by myself in virtually any circumstance is something that I like, although I am equally at peace with others.  I truly love people and have been blessed to meet the most amazing ones on the planet pretty much every day of my life.

What I found for myself, and I truly believe that we have to find our own path, but for me I know that the more at peace I am with myself as well as my surroundings the more I am able to adapt to any situation.   Whenever I am calm, it matters not if it is in a crowd of 50,000 or if it is sitting alone on the beach.   There is something that I am able to gain from both.

Part of it is because it is my intention to meet amazing people, and I do. Once while at a Christmas party I met the most interesting rabbi.  Do I even have to go further?

While walking my dog yesterday I realized that unequivocally every single person waved and greeted me as I walked by.  Now, granted I live in a truly friendly and remarkable neighborhood.  Ironically, I have lived in these types of particular neighborhoods no matter where I have resided.   It may have been in south Florida, in the Midwest or in the rural eras of Wyoming.

To me, people are people.  We are all far more similar than we are different.  At the same time, we are all unique.  We all have a different perspective on life and how we see each and every day.

What we share in common is that essential need for love.  Love is an instrumental component to living, and that love stretches beyond that of being in a relationship.   We actually have a myriad of relationships including the relationship with ourselves, with our environment, and with our surroundings to name a few.

All of these interact with each other.   Where we are unique is how we find that peace within, and within each and every facet of our lives.   The other certainty is that each of us has a choice.

It matters not if you’re with someone or not.  We are always dating the one person that is always there and that is ourselves.  The more we give to ourselves the more we are able to give to others.  The more we love ourselves the more capacity we have to love others.

It may (or may not be) Valentine’s Day we may (or may not be) in a relationship but no matter your present situation; I wish you nothing but Peace, Love and Happiness.

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