What I’ve Learned……

The Taoists believe that the wisest are those that are the youngest and those that are the oldest.

Not in our society although through various activities such as volunteering for hospice on one end and having children on the other, I often learn the most from the ones most would least expect.

Some of what I have learned lately….

Listen More, Speak Less

  • Listening without feeling the need to respond is such a skill set.  Feeling secure in the silence  without needing to add to, respond to, or question such is rather difficult and why there is such a calling for psychologists coaches and the like whose job is in essence to listen without judgment.  
  • Starting at a very young age if someone is not allowed to have a voice, to be heard and to feel that they are being heard that person will develop certain defense mechanisms that can and often do manifest as issues later.
  • Even those that are at the eldest of ages still feel that they have spent a lifetime of not being heard, while others have never really listened and some will never have their story told.
Justice Sounds A Lot Like Revenge
  • What does justice look like, and what is the purpose, or more importantly, what is the higher purpose of each individual and all of society because if our purpose is to be happy, to find peace, and to be loved then so often justice is not served but rather it is revenge.  
  • Forgiveness is often equated as a weakness but takes one of the strongest wills of all.
  • True story – a woman’s husband was brutally murdered right beside her.  The man was later easily sought, found, convicted, and was awaiting the death penalty.  The woman  who had a terrible time with nightmares and such that is often the case with these events woke up in the middle of one night to the sound of the word “forgive” ringing in her ear.  The next morning she drove to the jail to meet face to face the man who brutally killed her husband.   He cussed her out, and told her never to come back. She did. And, he did the same.  That continued until one day he broke down and asked why she continued to come back.  Forgiveness.  Once he broke down, he told her about how he was always told he was nothing was worthless and so he became what everyone thought he would be.  From that day forward they became friends.  She asked the court to change their ruling. They voted to continue as scheduled. Just would be served.  She was there at his last day on Earth. 
  • The story is true, although my recounts of such is how I remember them so may not be entirely as it happened.
Silence equals Growth
  • Which way to turn may not be as simple as taking this left, or this right, as life is more like a labyrinth that we are supposed to navigate on a daily and minute to minute basis.  Sometimes, it can seem like we’re rats in a cage going around and around on a wheel but getting nowhere. Other times it seems so difficult trying to figure out what to do that we suffer analysis paralysis and end up doing nothing.  
  • The answers are a plenty.  Getting to the final destination is not the ultimate quest but rather to simply enjoy the journey.  
  • To feel completely scattered is natural and normal, from time to time, and whenever out of balance there are many means to regaining ones balance.  There are religious philosophies, spiritual paths, and friendly voices of friends and family.  There is also that quiet place in our mind’s eye that by simply stopping, staying silent and quieting the mind we can find quite miraculously things there that we never thought we could find.  
  • Sometimes the answer, other times the way. Sometimes they are both the same. 

Have a great day!!

Bryan Hayes
 Personal Philosophy: 

 Destiny:  To help create a more loving, hopeful and connected planet. 

Cause:    To have an authentic provocative global impact on the planet. 

Calling:  To speak from the heart; write from the soul; and to lead by inspiring myself, and others, to greatness.